LOVE. FAITH. PEACE.
Last night i tried to kill myself. It was so easy. All I needed was a syringe full of air. I had even taken out the syringe from the fridge. It was right there in my hand. But I couldn't pierce my way into my skin. It takes a lot of courage to take your own life. I lacked that courage at 3 in the morning. I was depressed. I AM depressed. Yet I took the courage to live on. I know, today will be another day of misery and humiliation. Even tomorrow will be just the same. But the plunge has been made and I will have to swim into happiness. These tough times will pass by and I will be smiling at the end. I will have people around me who will LOVE me.
LOVE, something I've always yearned for. Something, I never thought I had enough. Something I have never given away enough because I have never had enough of it. LOVE, i still yearn for it. But I have FAITH in my friend up there, that I will eventually have loads of it, LOVE that is.
FAITH, I have plenty of it. I exist because my FAITH exists, my God exists. The Lord has always lifted me up from my miseries and this time he will do the same as well. Only, right now He is busy looking after his other children, so it's taking him some time. He may not be looking down at me right now, but He hasn't let go off me because i am holding His hand really tight. I can't let Him go because He is the only one I call my own. He gives me the smiles of joy, wipes my tears when I am quietly weeping in the dark, guides me through every path I choose to take. I find my Peace of mind in His existence.
PEACE, I want plenty of it. What I have presently is not enough. I hate this war going on within me. I can't let it go no, because it will make me violent, which I don't want to be. All i want to be is ME. That's how my God had wanted me to be. This war within me was killing me last night but my God called me from behind and I had to drop my weapon. The Lord has taken me into His care and I am frantically searching for some PEACE...while DEATH still calls unto me.
LOVE, something I've always yearned for. Something, I never thought I had enough. Something I have never given away enough because I have never had enough of it. LOVE, i still yearn for it. But I have FAITH in my friend up there, that I will eventually have loads of it, LOVE that is.
FAITH, I have plenty of it. I exist because my FAITH exists, my God exists. The Lord has always lifted me up from my miseries and this time he will do the same as well. Only, right now He is busy looking after his other children, so it's taking him some time. He may not be looking down at me right now, but He hasn't let go off me because i am holding His hand really tight. I can't let Him go because He is the only one I call my own. He gives me the smiles of joy, wipes my tears when I am quietly weeping in the dark, guides me through every path I choose to take. I find my Peace of mind in His existence.
PEACE, I want plenty of it. What I have presently is not enough. I hate this war going on within me. I can't let it go no, because it will make me violent, which I don't want to be. All i want to be is ME. That's how my God had wanted me to be. This war within me was killing me last night but my God called me from behind and I had to drop my weapon. The Lord has taken me into His care and I am frantically searching for some PEACE...while DEATH still calls unto me.
Comments